COULD MY PARENT HAVE

TEENMENTALHEALTH

.ORG

PROJECT DIRECTOR & AUTHOR

Dr. Stan Kutcher, MD., FRCPC

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REVIEWERS AND EDITORS

Dr. Selene Etches, MD., FRCPC;

Faten Alshazly, BSc., M.A.

FINAL REVIEW AND EDITS

Dr. Stan Kutcher, MD., FRCPC

CONTRIBUTED IN PART BY

Vanessa Bruce, MA

This material can not be altered, modiﬁed or sold. Teens

and parents are welcome to use this material for their own

purposes. Health providers are welcome to use this material in

their provision of health care. Educators are welcome to use this

material for teaching or similar purposes. Questions on other uses

of this material, other than described above, can be forwarded to

[email protected]

DESIGNED AND ILLUSTRATED BY

THEM

COULD MY PARENT BE/HAVE AN...

IS MADE POSSIBLE IN PART BY

Introduction

Facts about Schizophrenia

Treating Schizophrenia

What you can do

Talking to your parent

Question & Answer

Dealing with your Emotions

Dealing with your Stress

Family Rules

Substance Abuse

Suicide

Getting Support

Helpful websites

Write about you

Emergency Contact List

Ulysses Agreement

10.

12.

14.

16.

18.

21.

22.

24.

25.

28.

29.

30.

31.

WHERE?

In Print : Amazon.com

Online : TeenMentalHealth.org

aving a parent with Schizophrenia can be

frightening, frustrating, and stressful. When someone

you care about has a mental illness, you can feel

helpless and wonder if it’s your fault. You are not

to blame. There is nothing you could have done to

cause your parent’s Schizophrenia. Although it may

feel like everything is out of your control, try not to

lose hope. Schizophrenia is treatable and there are

people who can help you and your parent recover.

You are not alone!

This book will help you understand more about

Schizophrenia and what you can do to cope with your

parent’s illness.

NORMAL VS. ABNORMAL BEHAVIOUR

Schizophrenia is a complicated brain disorder that makes it difﬁcult

for someone to know what is real and what is not. People with

Schizophrenia experience delusions (beliefs in things that aren’t

true) and/or hallucinations (sensing things that aren’t really there).

They also might be difﬁcult to understand, either because their

speech is hard to follow or because they rarely speak. Some

people with Schizophrenia also act in strange ways, such as

acting exceptionally silly, acting inappropriately, or becoming

agitated for no obvious reason.

If your parent has Schizophrenia, he or she may not realize that

anything is wrong. To your parent, his or her behaviour seems

perfectly reasonable, even though you can tell that something is

clearly very wrong.

It’s important to note that believing or sensing something that

other people do not is not always a sign of Schizophrenia. We

can all believe things that other people do not – whether it’s that

a higher power exists, that an old house is haunted, that the

government is monitoring our internet use, or something else

entirely. Age-appropriate or culturally-appropriate beliefs are not

considered delusions. The same goes for hallucinations. If you

can hear your neighbour’s conversation on the other side of the

wall but your parent standing on the other side of the room can

not – you are not “hearing voices” (e.g., a hallucination). A child’s

imaginary friend is also not a hallucination. Age-appropriate

displays of imagination are not hallucinations. A hallucination

is when you experience something through your senses (sight,

sound, smell) that is not there. Delusions and hallucinations are

diagnosed when people believe or sense something despite many

other people giving evidence that the belief or sensory perception

does not exist. Delusions and hallucinations are considered breaks

from reality and are symptoms of psychosis. Psychosis can occur

in multiple disorders, not just Schizophrenia.

FACTS ABOUT

SCHIZOPHRENIA

WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

It’s really important that people seek help at the ﬁrst sign of psychosis. Getting the correct diagnosis

and treatment early can help to reduce the impact of future problems.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMONE HAS SCHIZOPHRENIA?

Schizophrenia is diagnosed by a mental health professional (e.g., a doctor, psychologist, or clinical

nurse practitioner with training in mental health) when someone has a number of speciﬁc symptoms.

It may take a long time for the mental health professional to determine whether your parent’s

problems are due to Schizophrenia or due to other medical or environmental causes.

WHAT CAUSES SCHIZOPHRENIA?

Schizophrenia is caused by multiple genetic and environmental factors that affect brain development,

many of which we do not yet understand. It is not caused by the usual stresses of everyday life.

WHAT DO WE

KNOW ABOUT

SCHIZOPHRENIA?

k Approximately 1 in 100 people will develop Schizophrenia. [Statistics Canada (2012) Health State

Descriptions for Canadians.]

k The onset of Schizophrenia is usually in the late teens/early twenties for men and the twenties/early thirties

for women. [American Psychiatric Association (2013) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

– Fifth Edition.]

k It is rare for Schizophrenia to start before adolescence or after age 45, although some women who develop

Schizophrenia do so after age 45. [American Psychiatric Association (2013) Diagnostic and Statistical

Manual of Mental Disorders – Fifth Edition.]

k Immediate family members of someone with Schizophrenia are at 10 times greater risk for developing

Schizophrenia than people without the disorder in their immediate family. [American Psychiatric Association

(2013) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Fifth Edition.]

k Schizophrenia can be effectively treated, although it may require lifelong maintenance medications. [Mayo

Clinic (2012) Schizophrenia: Treatments and Drugs.]

k Schizophrenia is a break from reality. People with Schizophrenia do not have multiple personalities or a “split”

personality.

CO-OCCURRING DISORDERS

It’s not uncommon for someone with Schizophrenia to experience other mental health problems

or mental disorders. When Schizophrenia is not treated, the symptoms can be overwhelming;

causing the person to feel out of control and to drift from loved ones, becoming isolated. This

isolation increases the risk that he or she will develop signiﬁcant depressive symptoms or even

Depression. Substance abuse may develop as a way for the person to cope with the symptoms of

Schizophrenia. Alcohol or drug use (including smoking cigarettes) may help the person to relax and

numb his or her delusions or hallucinations, but there are several serious problems with using this

coping strategy. First, it’s only a short-term solution; when the effects of the substance wear off, the

symptoms remain. Second, alcohol or drug use may actually worsen symptoms of Schizophrenia

instead of numbing them. For people at risk for Schizophrenia, marijuana use in particular appears

related to the onset of the disorder. Third, consistently using drugs and alcohol to avoid the

symptoms of Schizophrenia may lead to addiction in some people. Many people with Schizophrenia

also have an addiction problem in their lifetime. With continued use of a substance, the person will

need more and more of the alcohol or drugs to get the same relief, putting him or her at increased

risk for addiction and increasing his or her chance of overdose or other kinds of harm. See page 23

for more information on how to recognize the signs of alcohol poisoning or a drug overdose.

Schizophrenia is treatable but it takes time, work, and consistency. Your parent won’t get better

overnight. Although the amount and type of medication may change over time, your parent will likely

need to be on medication for his or her entire life in order to prevent relapse (when an illness comes

back after it has been effectively treated). Most treatments take at least 12 weeks to see noticeable

improvements, so it’s important to be patient and supportive.

Well-established treatments for Schizophrenia include certain medications and some types of

psychotherapies (i.e., talking therapies). Often a combination of psychotherapy and medication will

be prescribed together.

TYPE OF TREATMENT

Medication

Medications often help lessen symptoms by helping your parent’s brain function better. There are a

number of different medications that his or her doctor might choose to prescribe.

Medications called antipsychotics help with psychosis (i.e., delusions and hallucinations). There are a

number of different antipsychotics and your parent’s doctor may need to try different medications to ﬁnd

the one that works best for your parent. Certain antipsychotic medications have side effects, like restless

movements, stiffness, and dry mouth. If your parent is taking one of these medications, he or she may

also be prescribed other medications to help prevent these side effects from happening.

Once your parent’s symptoms are under control, they will likely still need to continue taking these

medications in order to reduce their risk of relapsing.

For important information on how to get the best treatment, check out:

teenmentalhealth.org/for-families-and-teens/evidence-based-medicine/

teenmentalhealth.org/images/resources/communicating_with_healthcare_providers_person_

version.pdf

TREATING

SCHIZOPHRENIA

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is talk therapy that also works to help your parent’s brain function better. It can

be done one-on-one (just your parent and the therapist) or in a group (with other adults who also

have Schizophrenia). For someone with Schizophrenia, psychotherapy might be used as an add-on to

medication but medication is usually necessary. Some treatments used in psychotherapy include:

k Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT): CBT can help reduce the severity of your parent’s symptoms. In CBT,

your parent will learn to identify problems and symptoms, and develop cognitive and behavioural coping

strategies that can help.

k Family-Based Therapy: Family interventions educate your family about Schizophrenia and how to cope,

and provide crisis intervention and emotional support.

k Assertive Community Treatment: This type of treatment involves a high level of contact between a variety

of mental health professionals and the person with Schizophrenia and helps to decrease hospitalizations

and homelessness.

k Supported Employment: Supported Employment helps people to look for a job and be effective in that job,

once found.

k Skills Training: Skills training helps people with Schizophrenia work on their social skills, ability to live

independently, and any other skills necessary for living in the community.

Start by putting yourself ﬁrst. Do things that you enjoy and that help you cope with stress. When you

look after yourself, it makes it easier to deal with the challenges of your parent’s Schizophrenia. Don’t

forget that you’re the kid in this relationship - it’s not your responsibility to look after your parent.

Putting yourself ﬁrst does not mean that you’re abandoning your parent or that you don’t love him

or her. Here are some ways that you can help your parent, without making his or her Schizophrenia

your responsibility:

WHAT

YOU

CAN DO?

Talk to someone.

Talking to other family members about your parent’s Schizophrenia can be a relief because they

often understand what you’re going through. Just remember that not all people will have the

same experience as you and not everyone is comfortable talking about mental illness. If you can’t

ﬁnd support within your family, it’s okay to talk to a trusted friend. Try to respect your parent’s privacy

(and consider asking your parent how he or she feels about you sharing that he or she has a mental

illness) but remember that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Some people may be judgmental

or unkind. This is usually because they don’t understand Schizophrenia or what it’s like to have a

family member who has Schizophrenia. Your parent’s illness is not a reﬂection of you and does not

make your family less than any other family. You can choose to react negatively to these people;

you can choose to ignore the things they say; or you can choose to stand up to them and increase

their awareness of mental illness. It’s up to you. As important as it is to try to increase people’s

understanding of mental illness, not everyone is willing to listen. Pick and choose your battles and try

to conﬁde only in people you trust. There’s no shame in just ignoring someone’s negative comments

if it doesn’t seem worth your energy.

Educate yourself about the illness.

Understanding what Schizophrenia is and how it affects your parent will help you feel less

frustrated and more supportive. Page 28 has a list of helpful websites that can be trusted.

Be patient and don’t take it personally.

Schizophrenia affects the way your parent thinks. He or she may not want to do the things he or

she used to like to do and it may be hard for your parent to attend or participate in your school

events or games. Although it’s difﬁcult, try not to take it personally. Be patient with your parent when

you can and recognize that Schizophrenia is making him or her act this way. It’s not a reﬂection of

how he or she feels about you.

Be prepared for emergencies.

It’s tempting to pretend that everything is ﬁne but it’s so important for you to be prepared in

case something goes wrong. Have a plan about what to do and where to go, as well as a list of

emergency contacts, just in case. Use the tear out pages at the back of this book to write down your

emergency contacts.

Let your parent know you care.

Having a parent with Schizophrenia can be really frustrating and upsetting. It’s easy to focus

only on the negative, especially when your parent is feeling negative. Remember that having

Schizophrenia alters the way your parent sees the world and can make things seem worse than

they really are. Sometimes your parent’s beliefs about the world may actually be incorrect and a

consequence of his or her Schizophrenia. Try not to let his or her negative thoughts and comments

affect your own thoughts and behaviours. Remind your parent that you care and that you are trying

to help him or her keep perspective.

Keep in mind quality, not quantity.

Sometimes it’s better to spend shorter periods of time with your parent doing something

enjoyable when he or she is feeling good, rather than giving up lots of your time trying to care for

him or her. It’s okay to set boundaries; it doesn’t make you a bad kid.

Learn how to communicate.

Try to avoid arguments and accusations when you get frustrated. Page 12 has some tips for

communicating with your parents.

Understand your feelings.

Become familiar with how your parent’s illness affects you. Do you worry too much or do you

feel neglected? Talking to a counselor, or a trusted friend or family member can help you sort

through your thoughts. Keeping a journal of your feelings can also help you put things in perspective

and understand yourself better.

Accept what you can’t control.

You can’t control your parent’s behaviour or the fact that he or she has Schizophrenia. People

can only control their own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Trying to change your parent is

frustrating and futile. Focus on the things you can control (like your reactions to your parent’s

behaviour) and try to let the other things go.

Do what you love.

Doing things you love to do can take your mind off problems with your family and remind you

of the good things in your life.

Appreciate the fun times.

Remember that your parent’s symptoms may come and go. Take advantage of the good

times and have fun with your parents. Try not to hold a grudge because of how your parent

acted when his or her symptoms were worse. It’s important to have fun together when you can,

because having good times to remember will help get you through the difﬁcult times.

Having a parent with Schizophrenia can be frightening and overwhelming. You may think that talking

to your parent will burden them unnecessarily but it’s important that he or she knows what’s on your

mind. Here are a few tips to help you out:

TALKING TO

YOUR PARENT

Be respectful and polite. This can be a challenge if your parent’s symptoms are especially bad

or your parent has missed out on something that he or she promised you they would do. Try

taking a deep breath and remember that Schizophrenia is making him or her act this way and

you don’t have to join in.

It is not your job to take care of your parent. This information is meant to help you better

understand your parent’s illness so you can know what to expect and be better prepared

to cope. Your job is to take care of yourself and to do your part in trying to have a good

relationship with your parent.

Think of your parent as a person and talk to them the way you would want someone to talk

to you. It’s easy to think of our parents only as parents or only as someone with a mental illness.

They’re more than either of those roles and treating them as such goes a long way.

Avoid blaming. Even if your parent was at fault, blaming them for whatever has happened will

only make them defensive and less likely to listen. Use “I” statements whenever you can. They

communicate your message without causing the other person to feel as defensive. For example,

instead of saying “You didn’t come to my soccer game again,” say “I was hurt when I realized that

you weren’t at my soccer game.” This puts the emphasis on how it made you feel, instead of what

your parent did wrong.

Express your feelings. Even though your parent has Schizophrenia, he or she is still your

parent. Tell your parent when you’re upset, stressed out, scared, and even happy. Your feelings

are important and expressing them will help improve your mood. It’s important that your parent

is aware of how you’re feeling.

Choose a suitable time and place to talk to your parent if the topic is sensitive. If you have

something important to discuss, make sure that you have some privacy. The middle of the

grocery store is probably not a great spot for an intimate or emotional conversation. Try to

approach your parent at times when they are generally calm or relaxed. It will make it easier for

both of you. Avoid having a serious conversation with your parent if he or she is feeling sick or using

alcohol/drugs.

Speak with a trusted adult ﬁrst. If you have to discuss something important with your parent,

whether it’s about you or about his or her Schizophrenia, it can help to speak with a trusted adult

ﬁrst. This can mean another family member, a family friend, or a counselor. You can run things

by the trusted adult as a trial run and they can even accompany you to talk to your parent, if you feel

that’s appropriate and helpful.

Be prepared for denial and negativity. Your parent may not be ready, willing, or able to admit

that he or she has a problem. Schizophrenia impairs a person’s link to reality, making it hard for

your parent to realize that there is a problem. Even if your parent has already been diagnosed

with Schizophrenia, he or she may not notice when his or her symptoms have worsened. This can

make it really challenging and stressful for you. Remember that you are the kid in this situation and

you don’t have to take responsibility for your parent. This is the perfect time to bring in a trusted

adult for help.

If you are not comfortable speaking to your parent face-to-face, writing a letter can be a

good alternative. A letter allows you to express how you feel without your emotions confusing

you. It also gives your parent the opportunity to read it on their own time. Giving them some

time to process what you needed to say allows them to be less defensive than they may be if they

were confronted in person. A good idea when writing a letter is to put it away for a day when you’ve

ﬁnished, and then read it again to make sure you’ve said what you really want to say.

UESTION

NSWER

Am I betraying my parent if I talk about them?

No, it’s important for you to talk about how your parent’s Schizophrenia is affecting

you. Just make sure that the person you talk to is someone that you trust (and if

possible, someone that your parent also trusts). Remember that you have nothing

to be ashamed of.

Did I cause my parent’s Schizophrenia?

No, absolutely not. Nothing you could do would cause your parent’s

Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a medical illness of the brain, just like diabetes is a

medical illness of the pancreas.

Does my parent even like me?

Sometimes people with Schizophrenia don’t have the ability to put themselves

in another person’s shoes and realize how their words and actions affect other

people. Schizophrenia can make it difﬁcult for your parent to see beyond his or her

own perspective. Remember that even though your parent has Schizophrenia, it is

not okay for him or her to say rude or hurtful things to you. Although it can be really

tough, try not to take what your parent says personally. If conversations become

very negative, do what you can to remove yourself from the situation.

Will I get Schizophrenia too?

You get your genes from your biological parents, and although your genes

contribute to Schizophrenia, that does not mean that you will get the disorder.

Therefore, although it’s possible that you will develop Schizophrenia, there’s also

a possibility that you won’t. There are many things you can do to stay healthy and

perhaps even decrease your risk of developing Schizophrenia. Look after yourself,

eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, and learn to use positive coping skills (see page 18).

Practicing healthy behaviours and coping positively with stress is important!

DEALING WITH

YOUR EMOTIONS

GUILT

When someone you love has Schizophrenia, it’s not unusual to experience guilt about feeling:

k Happy

k Carefree

k Angry with your parent

k Like you don’t want to spend time with your parent

k Like you can’t make your parent better

Although it’s totally normal to feel guilty, remember that your parent’s illness is not your fault. You

haven’t done anything to cause his or her Schizophrenia and you have every right to feel and

express happiness, anger, sadness, fear, or any other emotion. Try to remind yourself that you can’t

control or change your parent’s emotions, thoughts, or behaviour. Be caring and thoughtful, but put

yourself ﬁrst. Just because Schizophrenia is trying to control your parent’s life, doesn’t mean you

have to let it control yours.

ANGER

Anger is an important emotion. It’s totally okay to feel angry at times. Rather than feeling guilty about

your anger, try to focus on learning ways that you can better manage your anger and understand what

it means to you. Effective anger management takes practice. Here are some tips that may help:

If you’ve tried all of these tips and are still having a hard time managing your anger, it is a good idea to

talk to a counselor. For information on how and where to ﬁnd support, see page 27.

Count to ten.

It sounds cliché but it can help. Taking a

pause before you respond helps your body

and your mind calm down and you can then

think more rationally about how to react.

Give yourself a break.

If you feel yourself getting angry, walk away

from the situation for a little while, if you can.

This works in a similar way as counting to ten,

giving you time to calm down and think rationally

about how to deal with the situation that is

making you angry.

Burn off some steam.

Exercise is a great way to manage your

anger. Go for a run, try yoga, take a

kickboxing class – whatever works best for

you. Working out helps your body “release”

emotions, plus you get the beneﬁts of exercise.

Breathe deeply.

Take a minute and try the box breathing

exercise on page 19. Taking deep breaths

slows your heart rate and helps you calm down.

Express your feelings.

Sometimes, telling someone why you are

angry can help you feel better. Instead of

being aggressive, try to calmly and assertively

express your feelings. When you’re calm, it’s

easier for people to listen to what you are actually

saying, instead of only reacting to your anger.

Learn to problem solve.

Figuring out what exactly is making you

angry can make a huge difference in how

you feel. Often, what we think we’re angry about

and what we’re actually angry about are not

the same thing. Later on, when you have some

distance from the situation, think about the

point when you got angry, what happened, and

what thoughts were going through your head.

Understanding the problem goes a long way

towards ﬁnding a good solution.

Having a parent with Schizophrenia can be really stressful and that stress can show itself in many ways:

Eat healthy.

Eating a balanced diet gives your body

the fuel it needs to help combat stress.

Try not to skip meals, eat plenty of fruits and

vegetables, and go easy on the junk food.

Daily relaxation time.

Take time each day to relax. Read a book,

watch a movie, play a game, listen to music

– whatever helps you relax. Also learn and use

the Box Breathing exercise on the next page.

COPING STRATEGIES

Sleep.

Getting 8-9 hours of sleep each night will

help you feel better the next day. If you

have trouble sleeping, try the Sleep tips on

next page.

Exercise.

Daily physical activity improves your health

and mood, and helps you get rid of stress.

Even something as simple as going for a walk

can help.

Physical symptoms.

Headache; neck ache; indigestion; stomach ache; sweaty palms; racing heart; irregular

sleeping patterns.

Emotional symptoms.

Crying; anger; loneliness; forgetfulness; diminished sense of humour; irritability; hopelessness;

unhappiness; indecisiveness; sensitivity; anxiety

Behavioural symptoms.

Drinking, smoking or using drugs; needing to be in control; withdrawal or avoidance; acting

aggressively; feeling restless; grinding teeth; eating poorly; having nightmares.

Although a little bit of stress is healthy, the stress of having a parent with Schizophrenia can at times

feel overwhelming. The coping strategies below can help you stay calm and prevent the stress from

taking over your life. If after a little practice, these strategies don’t seem to be helping, it’s a good

idea to talk to a counselor. See page 27 for information on how to ﬁnd support.

DEALING WITH

YOUR STRESS

Limit caffeine.

Caffeine can make your heart race, which

can make you feel worse. 7

Build healthy relationships.

It’s important to have a good support

network of people you trust.

Go outside.

Staying inside all the time can be really

draining. Getting outside and enjoying the

sun and fresh air can improve your mood. Try

to link this with exercise if you can, even a brisk

walk outdoors may help.

Acknowledge your feelings.

It’s okay to feel angry or upset once in a

while. You don’t have to bottle up your

feelings. Try talking to the people in your support

network. Sharing your feelings with someone

else can feel like a weight is lifted off your chest.

Stay away from alcohol and drugs.

Although you may feel better in the

short-term, alcohol and drugs will not

resolve your stress. They’ll only give you a

false sense of conﬁdence and may make your

problems worse in the long run. This includes

cigarettes!

Manage your time.

Learn how to schedule and prioritize your

projects and other responsibilities — it will

help you feel more in control, more productive,

and less overwhelmed. Use a timetable

organizer and check it out every morning to help

you plan your day.

Be realistic.

Remember that Schizophrenia can make

your parent interpret things as much

worse than they actually are and he or she

may believe things that may not be true.

Remind yourself that Schizophrenia skews

your parent’s perspective and things may not

be what they seem.

Accept what you can’t change.

Not being able to change your parent’s

behaviour can be really frustrating. It’s

important to remember that the only thing you

can control is your own behaviour. Try not to

dwell on the things you can’t change and focus

on the things you can (e.g., how you react to

other people’s behaviour).

If possible, sit and close your eyes. If not, just focus on your breathing.

k Inhale your breath (preferably through your nose) for 4 seconds.

k Hold your breath for 4 more seconds. You’re not trying to deprive yourself of air; you’re just giving the air a

few seconds to ﬁll your lungs.

k Exhale slowly through your mouth for 4 seconds.

k Pause for 4 seconds (without speaking) before breathing in again.

Repeat this process as many times as necessary. Even 30 seconds of deep breathing will help you

feel calmer and more in control.

k Go to sleep and wake up within 30 minutes of the same time every day.

k Follow a regular nightly routine before you go to bed. A series of steps that you follow every night cues your

body that it’s time to fall asleep.

k Don’t read, do homework, or text your friends from your bed. This teaches your body that when you’re in

bed, you should be sleeping.

k Avoid electronic screens (TV, computer, phone, tablet, etc.) for at least one hour before bed, and try not to

bring them into your bedroom.

For more information about sleep, check out: teenmentalhealth.org/understanding-mental-health/sleep

BOX BREATHING

SLEEP TIPS

FAMILY

RULES

You might have unspoken “rules” in your family. It’s important to

be aware of these hidden “rules” because sometimes they may

be unhealthy. Here are some rules that are worth breaking:

Break it! It may be uncomfortable at ﬁrst, but it’s so important

to talk about what’s going on in your family. Chances are –

someone else feels the way you do. Sharing your feelings with

each other can help to release stress and starts you on the

path toward resolving family issues. You can’t solve a problem

if no one will admit it exists.

Break it! Although it’s tempting to sometimes not feel at

all, emotions are an essential part of living a fulﬁlling and

rewarding life. Don’t let your parent’s illness stop you from

living the full life you deserve.

Break it! We make our assumptions about the world based

on our experiences – that can make it easy to not trust

anyone else when you come from a family that constantly

breaks your trust. Not everyone will disappoint you. There

are lots of honest and trustworthy people in the world. Give

someone a chance to be there for you when you need it.

Don’t trust. When you’re frequently disappointed by broken

promises, eventually you learn not to trust what people say to

you. Sometimes you don’t trust other people at all.

Don’t feel. When you’re constantly disappointed and hurt by

someone you love, you learn to shut off your emotions so that

other people can’t hurt you the same way.

Don’t talk. When a lot of negative things happen in a family,

you can learn not to talk about your problems because it’s

uncomfortable. 3

k Neglecting, hurting, and losing family and friends because they spend so much time using or trying to

obtain the substance.

k Engaging in moody, unstable, or violent behaviour, often accompanied by anger management

problems.

k Trouble keeping a job because they show up late, are hung over, or even use the substance at work.

k Spending a lot of money on the substance and sometimes failing to pay necessary bills and expenses

(e.g., electricity, groceries).

k Behaving in dangerous or risky ways. People with addictions can go to great lengths to get a hold of

the substance and may put themselves or others in danger.

k Incurring a number of health problems, including problems with the stomach, heart, liver, and central

nervous system.

For more information, check out schizophreniaandsubstanceuse.ca

SUBSTANCE

ABUSE

Sometimes people with Schizophrenia turn to drugs or alcohol to try to control their symptoms.

If this helps at all, it’s usually only for a very short period of time, as their symptoms reappear

when the substance wears off. For some people, using drugs and alcohol may actually make

their symptoms worse. Drug and alcohol use also can be quite dangerous as some people may

build up tolerance when they use alcohol and drugs often. This means that they need more and

more of the substance to get the same effect. If someone is frequently using drugs or alcohol

to cope with Schizophrenia, they are at risk for substance use problems (also called alcohol or

drug addiction). This includes cigarettes! Addiction can cause family problems, social problems,

nancial problems, and health problems, including:

MARIJUANA

Research has found that marijuana use (i.e., pot, weed, cannabis) may trigger the start of

Schizophrenia in people who are at risk. Because your parent has Schizophrenia, you are

considered at risk. You should strongly consider avoiding marijuana altogether (use or exposure

through second-hand smoke).

SIGNS OF ALCOHOL POISONING

k Loss of consciousness

k Slow or irregular heart beat

k Vomiting

k Seizure

k Low body temperature

k Pale or bluish skin

SIGNS OF DRUG OVERDOSE

k Loss of consciousness

k Chest paint

k Heavy sweating

k Delusions/ Hallucinations

k Faster breathing

k Seizures or uncontrollable twitching

k Fever

k Racing or irregular heartbeat

k Cold or pale skin

CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY

Someone with alcohol poisoning or a drug overdose may get brain damage or die. It is essential

that you call for help immediately if you notice any of the symptoms above.

OF DRUG OVERDOSE

& ALCOHOL POISONING

SIGNS

Although your parent has Schizophrenia, he or she is not necessarily suicidal. Many people

with Schizophrenia do not have suicidal thoughts and never attempt suicide. However, having

Schizophrenia does increase the risk for suicide so you should be aware of the warning signs that your

parent may be considering suicide, just in case:

k Intense hopelessness or sadness

k Preoccupation with death

k Loss of interest in regular activities

k Withdrawal from family and friends

k Talking about what it will be like when they’re gone

k Giving away valued possessions

WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO DIE BY SUICIDE?

There are many reasons why someone might attempt suicide, including:

k To escape from problems that may seem overwhelming

k To end painful feelings of sadness, rejection, or loss

k To avoid disappointing others

k To stop feelings of shame and guilt

k Because they feel worthless and hopeless about the future

k Because alcohol or drugs have altered their thinking and mood

k Because they feel that life isn’t worth living

k Because they believe that others would be better off without them

People who die by suicide usually believe that it is the only way out. Their thinking is clouded and

they are not able to realize how their actions will affect the people who care about them. Treating

Schizophrenia decreases risk for suicide.

WHAT CAN I DO?

It’s okay to ask your parent if they are suicidal and tell them that you are concerned. Asking about

suicide will not put the idea in his or her head. If you suspect your parent is suicidal, the best thing you

can do is tell a trusted adult. If there is no one you trust, call 911. Suicide risk is serious and you cannot

handle this on your own.

Knowing your parent is suicidal may cause you to feel extremely anxious, sad, angry, or guilty.

Talking to a counselor about what you are going through can be really helpful. See next page for help

getting support.

SUICIDE

Surrounding yourself with a good support system of friends, relatives, neighbours, and other people

you trust is really helpful. A good support system will:

k Understand the challenges that having a parent

with a mental disorder creates for you

k Listen to you when you need someone to talk to

k Notice when you’re not acting/feeling like yourself

k Give you honest and helpful advice when you need it

k Encourage you

k Help you cope when you’re having a rough time

k Be there for you when you need them

k Remind you that you’re not alone

k Hang out with you.

GETTING SUPPORT

Join a support group for families.

Many communities have support groups

for Many communities have support groups

for mental illness where you can talk openly

about what you are going through. Some

communities have groups that are speciﬁcally

for family members. If there are no local

groups, there are also online groups for families

affected by mental illness.

Talk to a counselor.

If you have a school counselor, it may be

helpful to talk to them. They can often

provide information on Schizophrenia or tell you

about other local resources or support groups

for families.

Find a safe environment.

If you feel unsafe at home, it’s okay to go

to a friend’s house. Just make sure that a

trusted adult knows where you are. Don’t run

away and put yourself in danger.

Know emergency contacts.

If your parent gets abusive or out of control,

it’s important to know the phone numbers of

trusted people you can call for help.

MAKE A ULYSSES AGREEMENT

A Ulysses agreement is like a safety plan for your

family. The purpose of this agreement is to make

sure that you and your siblings will be taken care

of if your parent’s illness gets to the point that your

parent is not able to take healthy control of his/

her life. It’s a good idea to sit down with your entire

family and come up with a list of warning signs that

your parent’s illness may be worsening and what

you should do if that happens. The agreement

should also include who you should contact and

a safe place you could go if your parent is unwell.

It would also be a good idea for your family to

include trusted relatives or close family friends

when creating this agreement, so that they know

what could happen and how to provide support if

necessary. There is a sample Ulysses agreement in

the back of this book for you to use.

NAME:

PHONE NUMBER:

VIOLENCE:

If your parent becomes violent or if you are unsure about your

safety or the safety of others, you need to act. Call 911. If

violence is occurring, it is important that you get help from a

counselor, police ofﬁcer, or doctor. DO NOT WAIT! The sooner

the issue is addressed, the better the outcome.

EMERGENCY

CONTACT

These are places you can nd more information about mental health/mental disorders and get help:

TALK TO A COUNSELOR OR FAMILY DOCTOR

Sometimes you may need to talk to someone who is experienced in helping teens, like a

counselor, psychologist, or doctor. Don't be afraid to ask for this if you need it. Realizing you

need more help and looking for it is a sign of strength, not weakness. A counselor or doctor can

help you:

k Understand more about your parent’s mental illness

k Understand and express your emotions in a

positive way

k Learn to cope in healthy ways

k Make positive changes in your own life

k Build healthy relationships

k Set limits and protect yourself

Sometimes it helps to make a list of questions before visiting a counselor or doctor. Remember,

what you say will remain condential unless you are in a situation where harm can happen to

you. Discuss with your doctor or counselor how they will keep your discussions in condence.

INFO

School Counselor or Nurse.

Your school counselor or nurse may have

helpful resources for you, including books,

pamphlets, and contacts in the community.

Library.

Check your local community or school

library for books to help you understand

more about Schizophrenia.

Family Doctor.

Talk to your family doctor about your

concerns. Your doctor can answer

questions you may have and may be able

to connect you with a good psychologist,

counselor, and/or support group.

Health Boards.

Many communities have a health board

with information on different support

groups and other resources. They are often

located in community centres, malls, and

grocery stores.

Internet.

The internet has loads of information

about mental illness; just know that not

all of it is accurate. In fact, the information on

some websites is more wrong than right. The

next page has a list of helpful websites that

can be trusted.

Kids Help Phone.

The Kids Help Phone has counselors who

answer phone calls and online questions

from young people 24/7. You can reach them

at 1-800-668-6868 or at kidshelpphone.ca

Phonebook.

The yellow pages have lists of local support

groups, counselors, and youth health

centres, some of which may be helpful for you.

Emergency.

If you or your parent are feeling suicidal

or are in crisis, go to your local hospital’s

emergency room immediately.

Teen Mental Health: www.teenmentalhealth.org

Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre: www.keltymentalhealth.ca

National Institute of Mental Health: www.nimh.nih.gov

Canadian Mental Health Association: www.cmha.ca

Mayo Clinic: www.mayoclinic.com/health/schizophrenia/DS00196

Mental Health Foundation: www.mentalhealth.org.uk

Schizophrenia Society of Canada: www.schizophrenia.ca

Because Your Mind Matters: www.becauseyourmindmatters.ca

HELPFUL

WEBSITES

Writing in a journal can be a really good way to express your feelings. Reading over what you’ve

written later may help you make sense of your feelings and you might even feel better. Feel free to

use the questions below if you’re having trouble getting started.

WRITE

ABOUT YOU

I still have questions about

I’m concerned my parent will

I'm worried I will

I’m going to share my feelings with

My friends will help me

I’m going to take care of myself by

Things that make me feel better include

When I am scared, I will

I can trust

Things I like about myself include

I will stay connected to my family by

What I love about my family is

I get frustrated when

EMERGENCY

CONTACT LIST

My parent's doctor's name:

My parent's doctor's phone number:

Phone number:

Medication my parent is on:

If I need to leave and go to a safe environment, I will go:

Trusted adult/relative #1:

Trusted adult/relative’s phone number:

Trusted adult/relative #2:

Trusted adult/relative’s phone number:

Police phone number:

Crisis hotline:

Closest hospital phone number:

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR SAFETY OR THE

SAFETY OF SOMEONE ELSE, CALL 911!

ULYSSES

AGREEMENT

NAMES OF PEOPLE AWARE OF THIS AGREEMENT:

PARENT'S MEDICAL CONDITION:

Name

Signature

Contact Info

Diagnosis

Symptoms

Medications

(name, dose)

SPECIFIC CARE CONTACTS FOR CHILDREN INCLUDE:

SPECIFIC NEEDS OF CHILDREN (dates of births, health card number, medical issues):

Name Contact Info

Family Doctor

Dentist

School

Friend

Name

Relation

Contact Info

IF PARENT IS UNWELL, CHILDREN WILL BE TEMPORARILY TAKEN CARE OF BY: